Wrong
by faecree
Summary: After Euphie's confession to him, Suzaku simply felt wrong. And, when something feels wrong, isn't the best way to properly remedy the situation to counter it with something "right" instead? (suzalulu, oneshot, pointless smut, no character bashing...)


"Wrong"

* * *

To Suzaku it simply felt wrong.

It hadn't been long since Euphie's confession, hardly two days really, but he didn't feel too much guilt about turning her down. It wasn't that he didn't like her anyway; she was kind, intelligent, beautiful, _a princess_ , and just generally a great person. However, there was one enormous flaw in such a seemingly perfect girl, because she was Lelouch's sister. That was probably why it felt so wrong to even consider dating Euphie as well, and why he felt no remorse when he told her that he "didn't feel the same way."

And that was because Suzaku really _didn't_ feel the same way!

Although, he couldn't really discredit her for bucking up the courage to actually confess either, especially when she had no idea about the "thing" that was currently going on between Suzaku and her brother. There weren't many people who _did_ know after all. In fact, sometimes Suzaku wasn't sure if Lelouch himself even knew.

Despite that, there was no label for their relationship, but whatever "it" was, it was exclusive.

Suzaku couldn't quite imagine himself with anyone else at that point anyway, which was strange, because it wasn't as if Lelouch was the first person he'd ever slept with. Yet, ever since they began attending the same school, he'd forgotten the faces of everyone he'd ever been with before. So, not unlike Euphie, Suzaku understood how hard it could be to work up enough personal strength to tell someone how you felt about them. Though, while she used words to express her sentiments, Suzaku preferred a more physical approach. And by that, he meant that he preferred to slam Lelouch into his bedroom door, more or less using his mouth.

When Lelouch kissed back, that was the icing on the cake.

It didn't take much time after that, maybe a week or so. Their so-called relationship escalated quickly, and pretty soon Lelouch agreed to…

Well, let's just say he _agreed_.

As it stood, Suzaku still felt a little uncomfortable with the thought of dating Euphie on his mind. It felt wrong to even imagine it, as if he were cheating on Lelouch, who he wasn't actually in a committed relationship with. More than anything, they were still just best friends, albeit with some (a lot of) benefits.

Suzaku looked at Lelouch, who was reading on his bed.

He had been helping him study earlier, a bit reluctantly, but now that Suzaku understood the lesson well enough, he had taken to doing his own thing instead. And while he was supposed to be finishing his homework then and there, Suzaku honestly needed to wash away the awful feeling left in his pores from the day before.

And, of course, he knew only one way to do that.

Suzaku stood up from the desk then, walking the three paces it took to get to Lelouch's bed. He snatched the book from his hands, earning himself a confused glare, but Suzaku ignored the dirty look and pinned Lelouch back down.

"What are you doing?" Lelouch asked in a suspicious drawl.

Suzaku gave him a deceiving smile.

"I think it's pretty obvious what I'm doing," he replied impishly.

"Aren't you supposed to be finishing your homework?" Lelouch countered with an unimpressed look on his face.

"What are you, my mom?" Suzaku laughed.

"I thought that was why you came here," Lelouch stated flatly. "Or were you expecting to do this all along?"

Suzaku shook his head.

"No, not really. I just remembered something," he said offhandedly.

Lelouch squirmed below him in discomfort, narrowing his eyes.

"What?" he sighed. "You don't make any sense."

Suzaku smiled warmly, the sort of grin he knew Lelouch could never deny anything.

"What?" he asked. "You don't want to?"

Lelouch scoffed and looked away, trying to hide the look of defeat in his eyes.

"Honestly," he said, frowning. "You're so spoiled."

Suzaku chuckled victoriously as he unfastened the first few buttons on Lelouch's white uniform shirt, using the slack to pull it over his head. Lelouch let out a disgruntled sound as the fabric ruffled his hair, but otherwise made no move to protest. Suzaku ran his fingers up the sides of his torso, enjoying the feeling of smooth, pale skin beneath his hands. Lelouch shivered at the contact, the sensation was warming and familiar, so he couldn't help but respond to it.

"You too," he ordered, pulling at the hem of Suzaku's shirt.

Suzaku swiftly cast the article to the floor, returning to his previous task as he leant in to kiss Lelouch's neck, just below the corner of his jaw. He continued downward, passing over Lelouch's clavicle and then the center of his chest. Lelouch had latched his fingers around his upper arms unconsciously, but that wasn't enough. Wanting more of a reaction, Suzaku pressed his knee up between his legs, congratulating himself when Lelouch groaned accordingly. And still, he wasn't completely satisfied. Suddenly, Suzaku was biting down on Lelouch's neck, just so he could relish the way he gasped his name as a result. It was all like a beautiful song to him, who wanted nothing more than to play the track on repeat forever.

It wasn't long before Suzaku decided Lelouch was still wearing too many clothes for his liking then. So, he made quick work of his pants as well, pealing them from long, slender legs with practiced ease. Suzaku always loved taking off Lelouch's clothes, revealing the porcelain skin he hid beneath. It was like opening an expensive gift that was meant for a display case, never to be touched. Except Suzaku held the key to the cabinet, so he could touch all he wanted when no one else was around to see.

Bending down to kiss Lelouch again, Suzaku playfully nipped at his bottom lip when he tried to fight back, prepared to play dirty if that was how Lelouch wanted it. Rebelliously, he rubbed his knee between Lelouch's legs again, though without the added barrier of pants, the action seemed far more effective and intimate.

"Suzaku," Lelouch huffed as a set of fingers ran up the newly exposed skin of his thigh.

"What?" he replied simply, placing yet another kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"It's cold in here," Lelouch complained.

Suzaku laughed.

"That's why I'm trying to warm you up," he retorted with a smirk.

Not waiting for a reply, Suzaku's fingers resumed their decent, tracing the contours of Lelouch's form as though they held his darkest secrets. And Suzaku wanted to know everything about him, no exceptions, down to every tiny imperfection on his delicate self. Lelouch shuttered and emitted something like a whine when Suzaku's teasing touch fluttered across his stomach, and it was all too obvious how frustrated he was.

Knowing Lelouch would begin to put up a fight soon if he didn't push things along, Suzaku dipped his hand all the way down, rubbing and kneading him through the small black article of clothing which preserved his dignity.

Lelouch's breath hitched and his hand grasped at the nape of Suzaku's neck.

"Hurry," he commanded, failing in his attempt to sound assertive or really anything like his usual self.

"If you insist," Suzaku chuckled as he shed the last of Lelouch's clothes from his body.

Reaching between the mattress and the headboard he pulled his hand back to reveal a travel sized bottle of lube that they had stashed there previously. Pouring a generous amount into his palm, Suzaku wrapped it around Lelouch's shaft and pumped a few times, spreading it around.

" _Oh_ ," Lelouch gasped, a pink flush rapidly rising to his cheeks as his head lulled to the side.

Pleased with the reaction, Suzaku continued on. Developing a steady, even pace as he stroked Lelouch, he soon leant down to run his tongue over a perky pink nipple.

"S-Suzaku," Lelouch panted, staring at him through half lidded eyes. "Don't."

"Why not? You like it, don't you?" Suzaku countered as he shifted to sit between Lelouch's gradually spreading legs.

Lelouch's flush suddenly deepened and he swallowed hard.

"That's not…" He paused. "Besides that, why I am I the only one naked here?"

Suzaku snorted.

"You want me to be naked?" he asked. "Okay, that's easy enough to fix."

Slipping off the bed, Suzaku stripped himself of his remaining clothes, pretending not to notice the way Lelouch couldn't stop himself from watching. However, he wasn't away long, placing himself back between Lelouch's legs as he maneuvered them to encircle his waist.

"Better?" he cooed teasingly.

Though he continued to meet Suzaku's gaze, Lelouch also refused to respond.

Displeased with this, Suzaku lowered himself closer to Lelouch so that he hovered just above him, leaning on his forearms. The blush which had spread all over Lelouch's face was even more vibrant up close, but so was the color of his eyes, and Suzaku couldn't help but kiss him again. He shifted his position, trying to deepen the action when Lelouch moaned into his mouth, but the movement caused their hips to shift together and Suzaku had to pull away to breathe.

Meanwhile, Lelouch let out a series of soft moans, absentmindedly lifting his pelvis in search of that same contact.

Determined to make his reaction louder, however, Suzaku reached between their bodies, wrapping his hand around both of their members at the same time. Slowly at first, he began to stroke them together, rocking his hips lightly to add to the friction. He did not once look away from Lelouch's face, immersed in the way his mouth hung slightly ajar and his eyes glazed over as if he were in some far-off place. And only Suzaku was allowed to make him that way.

"You're being really good today," he remarked. "I can't wait to see how you act when I fuck you."

"Ah, _Suzaku_!" Lelouch whined angrily as he tightened his grip and added a particular twist to his stroke. "D-don't patronize me."

"I'm not," Suzaku refuted a bit too sincerely, halting his actions to reach for the lube once again.

After thoroughly coating his fingers, Suzaku dipped his hand down to circle Lelouch's opening with a single digit. Lelouch moaned and wrapped his arms around Suzaku's neck, more in anticipation for what was to come than anything, feeling a thrill pass through his gut. And Suzaku continued rubbing lightly, slowly, changing the rotation every now and again until Lelouch was going mad with a sort of fervor he'd never admit to.

"Should I put it in?" he questioned with feigned innocence. "You don't look like you want it."

"Suzaku," Lelouch practically hissed. "Just do it. I'm already too worked up, and you're the one who wanted this in the first place!"

Of course, Suzaku was slightly annoyed by his attitude.

Without warning, Suzaku pressed two fingers inside, making sure to be careful when Lelouch cried out in shock. It was warm and soft inside of him, and while Suzaku really just wanted to settle in, he had to make sure Lelouch was nice and relaxed before he could even think about entering. That was, unless he was okay with hurting Lelouch, which was not likely. After all, the first time Lelouch bled from their coupling, despite the fact that there was hardly any blood at all really, Suzaku was instantly ridden with guilt. And while Lelouch had insisted multiple times that he was fine and that the pleasure far outweighed the pain, Suzaku knew that there was no excuse.

Lelouch was used to two fingers by then though, and even if he'd tensed up during the initial entry, he had already slowly begun to relax back into the mattress. Though, severely turned on by the sight before him, as Lelouch unknowingly rutted against his hand, Suzaku once again became acutely aware of the ache in the lower half of his body.

What he did after that was purely instinctual. They'd had sex so many times that Suzaku didn't even have to think about what he was doing anymore honestly. Lelouch had never been very good at rejecting his "sad puppy face" anyway, so Suzaku had had plenty of time to familiarize himself with the territory. Therefore, it was just a matter of seconds before he found what he'd been looking for.

Lelouch moaned again, despite himself, hands now twisted in the sheets.

"Y-you," he choked out. "Warn me!"

"Okay, consider that your warning," Suzaku countered cheekily, passing over his prostate again.

Then, suddenly he removed both fingers.

Lelouch squirmed a bit awkwardly, but Suzaku made sure not dawdle or keep him waiting; as it stood, he still didn't feel clean enough anyway.

Pouring even more lube onto his hand, he covered the third and final finger completely, glancing towards Lelouch to see his eyes closed.

"Can I keep going?" Suzaku asked a bit uncertainly.

"Hm…" Lelouch hummed his acknowledgement, probably embarrassed. And, as Suzaku knew from experience, that was the closest thing to a "yes" that he was gonna get.

Suzaku inserted his fingers slowly this time, all three, watching Lelouch's face as it morphed with discomfort. It wouldn't last, he was sure, but that had always been his only complaint about their relationship. Because, in a perfect world, he would never hurt Lelouch in _any_ way.

Ignoring that thought, Suzaku thrust his fingers slowly, waiting for Lelouch relax and open up to him a bit more. And eventually his body did begin to calm down, accepting the way Suzaku stretch him in preparation. Noticing the change, Suzaku sped up the pace of his movements, spreading his fingers a bit to help.

Lelouch groaned at the sudden onslaught of sensation, but did not pull away.

By then it felt good, more than good really, and Lelouch was ready for the main course, but he knew Suzaku. So, he knew that Suzaku wouldn't continue until he was positive it wouldn't hurt him in the slightest. And while it was all very flattering, Lelouch simply didn't appreciate coddling. Besides that, what if he wanted it to hurt? Had Suzaku ever thought of that? It was doubtful. Maybe sometimes Lelouch wished he could feel the physical evidence of what they'd done all day long. Maybe he wanted more than just dirty talk in the bedroom. Maybe he didn't want Suzaku to be gentle. Maybe he was way kinkier than everyone would've ever guessed and… Okay, well, probably not that last one. However, the fact remained, while Lelouch didn't necessarily enjoy pain, he also wasn't opposed to the idea of getting rough during sex.

"Suzaku! It's enough now," he gasped insistently.

And while typically Suzaku would've done just as Lelouch predicted and refused to hurry things along, he still felt so very wrong after his experience with Euphie. So, he was really not in the mood to draw this out for very much longer either, even if that seemed a bit selfish in his eyes.

"You're right," he agreed in a dark voice.

Lelouch sighed when Suzaku's fingers retreated from inside him once again, settling back into the pillow as he watched him cover his cock in the rest of the lube.

Suzaku was above him before he knew it then, and Lelouch suddenly had a deep desire to kiss him. So he did, sitting up just enough to press their lips together, feeling that comforting warmth run through his skin all the while.

Suzaku allowed Lelouch to lie back down without breaking their connection, hiking his leg up around his waist again at the same time.

Finally separating from their kiss, Suzaku positioned himself at Lelouch's opening and instantly began to enter without another word. That wasn't anything unusual however, as Lelouch never liked to see this part coming. It was much easier to relax when he wasn't already anticipating the painful intrusion.

"Oh, God… Suza-" Lelouch moaned shakily.

"Does it hurt?" Suzaku breathed, genuinely concerned.

Lelouch shook his head.

"No," he said. "Just… just _keep going_."

Suzaku rocked his body against Lelouch's, gradually working his way up to the hilt. Only once he was fully sheathed did he deepen his thrust.

"Uh!" Lelouch gasped, his fingers digging into Suzaku's shoulders in a way which only seemed to spur him on all the more.

Suzaku simply could not look away from his face, once again enjoying the way Lelouch bit down on his lower lip and whined with every upwards motion inside him. And while Suzaku would've preferred if he'd let his voice out more, he also knew that they didn't exactly have the privilege of being loud at the moment. So, Lelouch's pleasured mews and tortured expressions were enough for him for now. After all, as long as it was Lelouch, he would take what he could get.

Suzaku leant down, his mouth latching onto Lelouch's shoulder once more as he started work on what would soon be a large hickey. It wasn't often that he did that sort of thing either, referring back to how he despised causing Lelouch any sort of pain, but this kind of thing was hard to resist. Even Suzaku wanted some sort of physical evidence that they were "together," so to speak, and if others saw the bruise, then that would just be a perk.

At some point, Lelouch's fingers had threaded themselves in Suzaku's hair, clenched in the curls at the back of his head while he chewed and sucked on his neck. He tugged a bit unwittingly, but the action was enough to make Suzaku twitch inside him; apparently he was a masochist.

Still cautious, Suzaku continued with his slow, even pace, but Lelouch was tired of waiting.

"Suzaku," he said as steadily as he could manage at the moment. "I'm- Mmm… I'm not gonna break."

And, honestly? That was really all Suzaku needed to hear.

Suzaku changed the angle of his thrust then, speeding the pace enough to make Lelouch's cries become a constant thing with each reentry. He was moaning, gasping, whining, and every now and again, Suzaku would steal his voice away with another kiss.

"I wonder what the rest of council would think if they saw you like this," Suzaku whispered directly into Lelouch's ear, reveling in the way he shivered in response. "No one would believe that you moan like a whore while I fuck you, right? Hmm... I think I'd like it if one of them walk in on this."

Lelouch was a bit too swept away to properly reply to Suzaku's brand of dirty talk. True, he did enjoy it, despite how demeaned he felt, but that was simply because this was Suzaku, and he knew Suzaku didn't actually look down on him. Had it been anyone else, they'd probably be getting a call from his lawyer on charges of Sexual Assault. This was different though, obviously, because Lelouch wanted every part of this. He wanted the feeling of Suzaku's hands squeezing his hips while he rammed into him, he wanted the sting of the stretch and the thrill that enveloped him when Suzaku seemed to lose himself and bit down on his skin.

He wanted Suzaku.

Lelouch's voice was uncharacteristically high as he cried out in time with every filling thrust.

" _Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!_ "

And Suzaku didn't mind that Lelouch could not verbally acknowledge his words, because he knew he'd been heard, and that was the only thing he needed. After all, who was he to complain when Lelouch was already practically begging for it?

Suzaku stopped to adjust their position then, simply lifting Lelouch's legs up to help deepen the action. He did not remain still for long though, and soon he wrapped his hand around Lelouch's neglected shaft as he began moving faster and harder than before, content to merely hear his name dragged from his favorite pair of lips. He pumped in time with his thrusts, careful not to send Lelouch over the edge just yet.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch nearly shouted, one hand now fisted in the pillow beneath his head. "Suza- That's… _Ah!_ "

Suzaku continued to quicken his tempo as time went by, recognizing that familiar tightening in his abdomen as they approached the end, but still hardly wanting to stop. It was warm and welcoming inside Lelouch, and, in the most innocent way possible, a lot like being home. Though, that was only if you defined "home" as the place where you were most comfortable, and Suzaku knew that he was never more at ease then he was while he was with Lelouch.

By then the bed was creaking and Suzaku could feel Lelouch's entrance fluttering around him, a warning that he too was close to climax. And while he wished he could drag it out forever, Suzaku also yearned to let all his inhibitions go, at least for now. So he did, more-or-less using his entire body mass to pound Lelouch down into his mattress again, pleased to see his eyes shoot open in surprise. Suzaku bent down to kiss him once more, swallowing the louder sounds which were now threatening to escape him.

"Lulu… you gonna cum?" Suzaku panted, giving his cock a playful squeeze.

" _Oh…_ _yes!_ " Lelouch practically sobbed, his back arching off the bed.

"Okay," Suzaku said. "Then do it."

So, Lelouch did. He came hard, shooting himself in the face (which Suzaku couldn't help but snicker at) and crying out Suzaku's name urgently. And Suzaku kept fucking him through it until he too was about to come undone, deciding not to pull out for once, even though he knew Lelouch would complain. He couldn't help it, the idea of seeing his own essence leak from between Lelouch's legs was far more appealing than usual. Even as Lelouch whined from the overstimulation, Suzaku could not bring himself to stop, moving even quicker than before, rocking into him with even _more_ force (which seemed mildly impossible).

He wasn't afraid to break Lelouch in two anymore, though he probably should've been at that point.

And then he too finally came, releasing as far inside Lelouch as he could reach, loving the way he shook and gasped at the sensation of being filled.

 **x x x**

"You asshole," Lelouch scolded.

The two of them were lying beneath the blanket on his bed then, still completely nude. Lelouch was on his stomach, but Suzaku had been lying on his side, staring at him since it ended, and Lelouch was beginning to feel a little self-conscious.

"What was that even about?" he asked. "Coming out of nowhere like that…"

Suzaku laughed.

"Isn't that how it usually works?" he countered. "I don't think we ever really plan on having sex beforehand. Besides, somehow I just felt _wrong_ today… but I think you've cured me. So, thanks for that."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes at him before looking away, but Suzaku was no stranger to how he tried to hide his embarrassment. He shifted closer, wrapping an arm loosely around Lelouch's torso, nuzzling his face into silky black hair. He smelled nice, like his girly scented shampoo and just the overall musk of their sex. And as much as Suzaku enjoyed the main event of their relationship, he couldn't help but think these moments were just as important to him. After all, he never slept better than he did when he was beside Lelouch.

"Lelouch," Suzaku said, lightly caressing the skin of his lower back.

"What?" Lelouch replied rather bitterly.

"I love you," Suzaku stated, placing a fleeting kiss on the back of his neck.

" _What?_ " Lelouch asked again as he visibly tensed, though he'd certainly heard him.

"I _love_ you," Suzaku repeated matter-of-factly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Lelouch paused before burying his face in his pillow, emitting an annoyed groan. But Suzaku knew better than to interpret that as a rejection.

"Just…" Lelouch tried, his voice muffled by fabric. "Just go to sleep… _idiot_."

Suzaku laughed again, turning off the light before lying down.

"Yes, Your Highness."

* * *

 **AN:** For the record, I don't hate Euphie, I just needed a set up for the porn. And the whole thing with Suzaku feeling "dirty" after her confession is really just me expressing why I can't ship them together (i.e., because she's Lelouch's sister, and therefore, if SuzaLulu was cannon, I know it would break his heart).

Anyway, the other day someone told me if I get writer's block to just write some smut, so here's the result of that. It's really rushed and not very good, and I wasn't worried about making it realistic at all if you're wondering about that. More than anything I just wanted to write this so that they were like normal teenage boys who didn't care to add a title to whatever it is they have going on between them. Apart from that I was just indulging in writing porn… excuse me also, because it's been literal years since I've written/finished writing any smut, so I'm sure it's less than satisfactory, but I'm also not gonna go back to edit it any time soon, so… well, you get the picture (/shrug).

I haven't read through this again either yet, so at some point I will probably revise a lot of this oneshot, but for now I'm happy with just being able to write it as fast as I did. I mean… it only took two days! I must be losing my mind.

 **On a side note;**

Next chapter of "Melting Ice" will be out relatively soon, I'm sure. I currently have about 8k words written for the next part, but I haven't started on the next chapter of "Lost Kitten" at all yet, so if you're waiting for that story to update, it probably won't be until after part three of MI, despite what I said before about my updating order and schedule. In the meantime, please enjoy this shitty little story. Also, remember that I update my profile constantly, so if you ever think I've abandoned a story, the only way to know for certain is to check there. I have a list entitled "discontinued" and if it is not under that list, then it's still running. It doesn't matter how long it's been idle, even with stories like "Five to Forever," which I haven't updated since like… December… I think.

Feel free to review if you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading,  
\- fae

 **EDIT** **(May 10th, 2015) -**

did some editing even though i said i wouldn't yet lol, i think i missed one or two things but im pleased for now!~


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